Ups and downs...

This past weekend was one of the best we have had (at home) in awhile. We went to the farm for milk, cheese, eggs and such. Then to lunch at the Kern where I had the BEST cheese soup and a great German salad. Spent the morning with friends and then the evening with the kiddos at the movies. Sunday was a birthday party and shopping for softball gloves. Forgot how good it felt to have a glove on and the ball in my hand. Love the sound of it when a ball is caught. Weird I know..but some of my best memories are of playing softball. Then...Monday.... Mondays and I do not get along. Even Mia was in a grumpy mood.

Today...the sun is finally shining! It's cold...but their is light!!! Our cleaning lady is here today doing an amazing deep cleaning on the house. Kind of (ok a really) nice break. Going out to eat tonight to avoid messing up the clean kitchen for one night.

I have been thinking alot about Georgia and here. Although in my heart Georgia will always be home, I can't live here in a temporary state. I have to look at this as home for now. I won't find peace here until I look at it as our home for now. No matter how long we are here...it's home right now. So I finally hung the rest of our pictures this morning.

Still not sure why God has us here, but I am finally ready to listen and find out...

What is bipolar...

Explaining to you what I am dealing with..

1. Stripped down to basics, people with bipolar disorder have mood swings, from elation to depression, that don't necessarily have anything to do with what's going on in their lives.

2. Bipolar disorder is also called manic depression, and it appears to be caused by electrochemical abnormalities in the brain.

3. TV shows like to show people with bipolar disorder as criminals, but don't worry -- only a small percentage are ever violent, and I'm not one of them!

4. "Mania" and "manic" don't mean "crazy" -- they refer to extra high emotions, full of energy, fast talking, not needing much sleep, excessive spending, brain racing.

5. I am a slow cycler -- that means I cycle through my emotions slowly, for no obvious reason. I am Bipolar 2 which means I am mainly in a depressive cycle.

6. I get into what are called "mixed states" when I seem to have a lot of energy but at the same time am really down, angry or panicky. I am here alot.

7. There are a lot of possible medications for bipolar disorder.

8. When I'm manic, I have particular problems with spending too much money, talking too much, not making a lot of sense, racing thoughts.

9. Inappropriate anger can be a symptom of bipolar disorder. I might say or have said hurtful things that I really don't mean -- I'm sorry! Finding the right medication should help control that behavior.

10. When I get depressed or into a mixed state, I sometimes feel suicidal. That's my illness talking -- but it's serious. You might have to get me to a hospital if I seem really bad.

11. Bipolar disorder seems to be inherited but the exact cause is not known yet.

I really hope this helps explain things alittle better about what is going on...

And another day....

Still a dreary day here. Could the sunshine please come out? The temp is really nice..mid 50's. I am determines to get our for a walk today even if it's in the rain. They are calling for snow later next week!

The last few days have been crazy, but I am so blessed to have friends that allow me to help them.

The Bi-polar meds are helping, but I am also going to try some alternative things as well. With the help of a friend who is studying aromatherapy I am going to try that. Also some herbal and nutritional therapies. I would try Gluten free but I am pretty sure that would depress me more lol.

Doing some research on nutrition and bi-polar. Anyone with any info pass it on!

Bill is liking his new job, and I am too. He is a lot more relaxed and that makes me happy :) Still waiting on March 20th so we can get some more info on retirement.

Other than that...not really much going on. This has been a very long and dreary week. So ready for the weekend!