Even with meds??

I have been very open with what's been going on with me medically, but for those who don't know I was recently diagnosed with Bi-polar II. I have always dealt with depression and have been on just about ever anti-depressant out there. When we arrived here we finally decided I needed to talk to someone about it and come to find out I was not suffering from depression but bi-polar episodes. I am on medication therapy now and though it takes the edge off, the unexplainable feelings are still there. Right now I can tell I am in a depressive episode, but knowing what it is does not make it any better. I can't explain the feeling to anyone and really have no idea how to handle it myself. Unless you have experienced it, it's almost impossible to understand. Bill is so patient, he tries so hard to understand and help but I haven't the slightest clue what to tell him that will help. Right now I hate myself, i hate my body, i hate my lack of energy. I understand that exercise will help... I used to love to exercise, but like I said...if you haven't been here you just don't understand. It's like you own mind is holding you prisoner. I feel guilty if I eat anything, I feel guilty if I spend any money, I feel guilty if I take a nap, I feel guilty if the house isn't perfect. I hate myself more when i can't live up to the expectations I imagine for myself. It's a terrible spiral and I want off! I need to simplify my life but really don't know how. I need my families help but don't know what to ask my family to do... What to do?